Dear Chivas...

My fur baby girl,

For 16 years, you were my companion, my tuxedo baby. 
You came into my life with your little brother.
 I lived far too small and already had a cat, but I couldn't leave you to your own devices.
So you both came into my life and formed the Three Musketeers.

You, Chivas, weren't a big personality; you left the bickering to your brother and stepsister.
 You watched from the top basket as they caused havoc.

However, when, after 9 years, *Beni*(18) died, and your brother, *Pinot*(13) two years later, we grew closer. 
You blossomed. 
You loved being alone with me.

When I suddenly found myself completely alone a year and a half ago, you lay down with me at night and waited until I fell asleep and then went to your favorite spot. 

You were \*perfectly\* healthy until 6 months ago. Suddenly, your breathing deteriorated.

 After much searching, it turned out that your nose was completely blocked and that this was too risky for surgery.
  Arthritis also took hold of you, and you deteriorated rapidly. 
Last weekend, you suddenly became very ill, and everything accelerated. 

You fought like a lioness. 

Even just now, when the vet tried to put you to sleep. Your heart wouldn't give up on me, but I couldn't let you suffer like this anymore.

 *Damn, this hurts*!

 As a childless woman, my cats have always been my children.
But I had to let you go. 
The hardest decision that a cat mom has to make.

My tears are oceans right now.

The images of your struggle are seared into my retina...
 My mind knows it was the right choice, but my heart cries. 

Dearest Chivas, I hope you're doing well on the other side. 
Give my regards to all my mom, dad and all my other loved ones, we'll see each other again. Someday. 🌈😿

After 16 years, my fur baby Chivas is gone and I feel completely lost...