HE left ME

My boyfriend of 5 years told me he had been secretly using porn for our entire relationship despite knowing from the beginning that I regard it as cheating. He said he’d do anything to make it up to me and that he had stopped so I gave him a chance. He didn’t even last two months before he unilaterally decided that the relationship was unhealthy because I would never trust him again. He sat on the truth for 5 years but I didn’t even get eight weeks to process before he decided he couldn’t deal with the shame. He said every time he looked at me he felt guilt and he wanted to heal from that. Apparently he was only able to do that without me in his life even as a friend. He blocked me on social media and so did our mutual friends. I’m being treated like a villain and the man I was going to marry was at one moment the perfect partner who wholeheartedly agreed porn was disgusting and cheating and the next moment shattered my soul. This was a year ago and I still haven’t been able to move on. I cry every day and drive by his house to see if he’s home and I know I shouldn’t want him back but I do. It hurts so bad. I hate porn for what it does to relationships