Did my ex sexually assault me?

I have two incidents I would really love some insights on from others.

On an autumn night in 2023 my boyfriend and I (both 27 at the time) were both drinking quite heavy. We started kissing but he was struggling getting an erection and so went down on me instead - with my consent.

After this I don't remember anything. After waking up before my boyfriend I go to pee and notice something strange. My anus stings a bit and there is a decent amount of fresh blood on the toilet paper. I kind of froze up inside. Tried to rationalize it. When I've been constipated a few times I've had small tears and tiny amounts of blood. This was a decent amount more than that though and I didn't have a bowel moment too recently.

When my boyfriend wakes up he tells me I seemed into it (sex, no specifics mentioned) at first, but at one point I kind of freaked out and didn't tolerate him touching me anywhere at all. I get very uncomfortable hearing this and don't want to focus on it anymore and just kind of push it away. This because I was already heading into a depressive episode for other reasons. I don't know if he might've managed to get an erection and tried to push it in a bit the wrong place or if he inserted a finger or what. The timing just seems so odd to me.

Second incident was a few months before our breakup last year. We did some consecual foreplay before he inserted himself into me while we were in a spooning position. I was kind of with it at first but quickly started to dissociate quite a bit. I just kind of had to lay there motionless. I didn't make a sound. He eventually finishes and comments kind of flippantly but not meanly that it "sucked I just kind of layed there".. Am I wrong to think he should've known to check in with me? He couldn't see my face obviously but clearly noticed I was motionless and silent.

Opinions would really help me out here.