my father

im sorry but i cant call him a dad

i never really post on here so sorry for any mistakes or parts that just dont make sense

Just to start all of this i feel very targeted by my dad as he only and only does this to me and never my siblings

Im not sure if this is abuse or if im over reacting but im 100% sure that my dads a narcissist

i also wanna say i never really had a relationship with him and i never plan on having one

Number 1.) Growing up he would beat me with belts and easily ground me for the smallest inconvenience, it took me 5 years of asking him for a playstation to buy me one and he only did because every single person i knew had one, very thankful for it but when my sister asked for a pc (at an even younger age) she got one within 2 weeks, When i was 13 i got my first EVER B and my parents thought i failed and they started calling up everyone and i got grounded for 6 months, Similarly when i was in year11 my dad took all my devices except my phone for the whole year and never gave them back even once to the point he forgot where he hid MY ps4 and only ever “found” it when my brother asked him. The reason he took them is because my teachers said i was “shit” at school etc,

now here comes the good part, non of my teachers said anything bad but matter of fact some praised me and one was arguing about me staying in english language A rather than B as she thought i had a good shot of getting an A, apparently that translates to i did dogshit and im a dumbass

He told my mum that and they grounded me and wtv life goes on

what got me to my last straw is recently he would walk ingo my room and shout at me giving me no respect what so ever and he would cuss me for any possible reason, for example ringing the door bell instead of letting him open the door by calling him or waiting for him if he was taking me back home (he would stand next to his car for 5 minutes doing what ever on his phone) and call me a narcissist and selfish and that i never care about anyones feelings, he would get mad if i left on of my pants on the floor even tho the rest of my room is spotless, if i use the ac but my sister is allowed, if i forget my closet open thats another reason to shout and ground me.

He would also say i never study and he never sees me do so (he does alot on my life) but obviously he just magically says i never do.

He consistently threatens me with not paying for my college if i don’t go to the best college in my country which is very hard to enter and they aren’t even choosing any other decent college i can go to, either the best or i get the shittiest one.

He also threatens me by putting me in the military and kicking me out of the house

What happened today is at 3pm he told me to not play video games, at that point ive woken up at 12 straight into

studying, studied most of the day went to pray came back studied and only JUST opened my pc and literally he magically comes in 5 minutes later and starts shouting telling me to stand up while hes talking to me threatening the college stuff ofc and threatens to break my stuff and im just done because he always does this consistently its not the first time and im done because its never enough

no matter what i do its never enough and i dont want to be enough, i dont care about his opinion anymore and i dont wanna fulfill something i dont wanna be