My(27F) "best friend"/coworker(28F) stole my speech for an important work conference

Hailey (28F) and I (27F) went to the same college for the same degree and landed up moving to the same state after. We got really close after college. I landed up getting a really amazing job. This is a heavily male-dominated field, and when I started, I was the only woman. I got her a job working with me right away and we've been working together for 2 years. Things went really well the first year. It was so fun to have my best friend working with me. I noticed that she could be a little rude and if I made a small mistake, she could make it into a really big deal. But the instances were few and far inbetween. We were even talking about starting our own business together. After a year, more women were hired so we weren't the only ones.

During the past year, I just noticed more passive-aggressive comments coming my way from Hailey. She has this aggravating habit of saying "must be nice". If I said "My husband had to cover the rent because I'm broke this month," she would say, "must be nice to have someone pay your rent for you". The thing is, she's the richest person I know. Her family has a lot of money, and she lives in their family vacation home rent free. If I say "My husband fixed something on my car" then she says, "must be nice to have someone fix your car for you". She drives her parents car and doesn't have a car note. I was starting to dread coming into work but we had to switch work shifts. For 5 months we were on opposite schedules and were only hanging out after work. Everything was fine and I was excited to see her and spend time with her. But last month we got put back on the same shift and it's been awful.

In her first week back I went home and cried twice. She has put me down for EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING. I couldn't say a single good thing without her putting it down. I mentioned that I finished 83 books in the year 2025 and immediately she said that it doesn't count because most of them were audiobooks. She said,"I actually sit down and read books". She finished 3 books last year. I say "I had Chick-fil-A for dinner" and she goes off on me for 5 minutes about how I'm supporting an awful company yet she orders off Amazon 3 times a week and I eat Chick-fil-A once every 4-5 months. I say "I didn't even do anything last night. I just doom scrolled on Tiktok" and she says "this is why I never downloaded TikTok, I didn't want to waste my life away" yet she showed me her screen time and she spends an average of 4 hours on Instagram reels a day. One day I was confiding in her about a problem I was having with my husband. The only issue we have is that my husband's dog is very misbehaved and he doesn't get around to training him enough. She fully went off about how she would divorce him and take the dog to the shelter if she were me. I should be able to discuss things about my partner without it being blown into a huge deal. Especially since my relationship is incredibly good and this is just a problem we are dealing with together.

She also has a habit of grabbing things out of my hand or inviting all of our coworkers or friends to an event but excluding me. She'll invite everyone to a bar and say, "I would invite you but you don't drink". I've been to the bar with our friends/coworkers multiple times and I order mocktails or virgin margaritas. I'll say "I still want to go" and she'll brush it off. I could give a dozen more examples but we would be here all day. Anyway, because of all these issues, I was avoiding telling her about things that I have accomplished.

Two months ago I got asked to speak at a conference for our field. There are very few women in this circle and I am someone who is very vocal about it. I got the attention of a public figure involved in our field. I was so excited that I told my boss and coworkers. There was a wait-list to join the event and I felt honored to even be asked to speak. I can tell that Hailey was being weird about it and I was being vague about the details. During one of the conversations about it I accidentally said the event coordinators name and she immediately knew who it was because she's THE public figure for women in our career. She immediately went to her website and emailed them saying she knows me and she wants to join so we can represent our company together. If this were a few months ago, I would have been ecstatic about this. We were talking about starting our own business together at one point, but after working with her, I didn't like her lax work ethic and was hesitant. On top of that, I noticed she was going to work events without telling me about them. I would see on her Instagram that she traveled to a networking group or workshop event and she never told me anything ahead of time. So I was really annoyed when she got invited to this conference using my name. This event was out of state so she tagged along in my car and hotel. She did pay me so I'm not upset about that. But I was upset about everything else.

We've gone on road trips before and they were fun, but this time felt different because of all the previous issues. She's always make comments about me listening to true crime content but she got hooked on the creators I listen to while on the road trip. It's crazy how much you can enjoy something before knocking it. Anyway, the morning of the conference, I was rehearsing my speech in the mirror of our hotel. She asked if I wanted to practice on her. I still needed to time myself so I agreed. The conference was small and I got to meet some incredible women making a difference in the field. Early in the day, we went around the room doing introductions. Because she was sitting next to me, she landed up going first. And take a wild fucking guess what she said. One of the most important topics I was discussing was about women in the work place. Instead of talking about her multiple degrees or important work she did before me, she said, word for word, my speech. What she could replicate from her memory. Not all of it. But a good chunk of it. I made an audible noise the second I heard her say it. Despite everything she has done, I didn't think she was capable of stealing my speech. I was literally right after her and I had to think quick on how to alter it without sounding like I was copying HER. One thing about me though, I am an excellent public speaker. I revised on the spot. I was loud and confident. I answered questions, I brought up other speakers topics and related to it, and I made them laugh. Someone said my speech gave them chills. The girl next to me said she didn't want to go after me since mine was so good. I did good despite her. But I am furious that I was put in this situation at all. It didn't end there either. Later in the day I had an opportunity to explain a project we worked on, and she inturpted and talked over me multiple times. Somebody took a picture of this and I just see the irritation in my face.

I feel like I've always been able to push down our issues and cohabitate at work. But after this event, I couldn't anymore. I did try. I made all the women at work galentines gifts with flowers, but I still made her one so she wasn't excluded. I still conversed with her. But last week she had the audacity to call me out for acting different. Since then she's been entirely ignoring me at work. I noticed how peaceful it was when I mentioned my plans for the weekend and felt myself physically clench, waiting for her to say something negative about it.

That's when I realized how far I let this is go. I always read Reddit stories and wonder why the OP doesn't just drop the problem person. Then I realized that I was this person who slowly let myself be the frog in the boiling pot.

She's on a separate shift for the next two weeks but after that we'll be working together for the rest of the year. So I need advice on how to interact with her from here on out. How do I get through work from here on out?

TLDR: I got my friend a job working with me and I've been having a lot of problems with her. She's always putting me down for my accomplishments. We went to a work conference together where she stole my speech and talked over me. Now that we are back at work things are tense between us.