Appropriate ways to ask out your handyman/contractor?
I (F late twenties) live in rented accommodation and my landlord has been paying some big ish work to be done. There’s been 2 guys mainly on the job (probably aged 30/early 30s) one of whom I have a crush on. The job has ended up being around 7 days of work spread over a few weeks. During this time there’s definitely been a bit of a vibe/spark growing between me and one of the guys. I believe his co worker also clocked it and would often be laughing smiling to himself whenever me and the one I fancy were interacting.
So I actually posted about the first half of this a few weeks ago but deleted it because I got paranoid about the off chance that he might see the post hahaha … general consensus was that the feeling was highly likely mutual but due to professional reasons I’d have to be the one to ask him out /ask him for his number. He seems a lil shy and tentative and very respectful and professional but also very warm and way more friendly than your standard tradie. I’ve established that he’s single lol. And I’m very confident in having picked up on the vibe correctly (I’m usually oblivious so if ive clocked it then it must be obvious haha)
On the last day of the job, I hyped myself up to ask for his number but then didn’t actually have to. His co worker was being a great wingman lol, found a made up tiny bit of work that still needed doing and suggested I swap numbers with my crush to arrange it. Everything up until that point had been arranged through their boss. When giving my crush my number he got soo flustered and it was like he didn’t know how to use a phone and his hands were shaking lol and then when he drop called me it didn’t go through (low signal in my area) and then his co worker joked like “no way hahaha you’ve just given him a fake number that’s so harsh” which imo was confirmation that everyone knew there’s some kind of crush/tension bc u wouldn’t say that if it was strictly professional.
Anyway he text me as soon as he got back in the van/had signal and the messages were mostly v professional but a more friendly or personal but not flirty. He asked me about dates I’m free for them to finish the last tiny bit of work.
Then my landlord was going to get more work done so I felt like the situation needed to be paused if the job was now ongoing again, also their schedule got too busy for them actually pop round and do the final 5 min job which he apologised about. We didn’t continue texting.
So I spent a couple weeks being patient mainly because of my landlord adding more work to the list. But then the other day my landlord abruptly changed their mind and declined any additional work.
Off the back of that news, I messaged him to update him and said that in case I don’t see him again I just wanted to say a huge thank u to them both etc. which my intention was that I was signalling the job being fully finished and reopening convo, in my head he’d reply acknowledging the message and then I would be brave and ask him for a coffee/drink or something.
He hasn’t replied lol.
A few of my friends think my message sounded too professional and like I was kindly wrapping things up aka paring him off 😂
I think I would like to send another message explicitly asking him out but now idk if it’s appropriate? It feels embarrassing double messaging but I don’t want to miss my chance.
If I were to message again, what would you recommend saying?
How might you feel in this situation if u were him?
Any input welcomed
I’ve never asked a man out and I think the professional boundaries here are confusing the hell out of me lol
TYIA if you managed to read all of this hahahaha
Posted Mar 8, 2026, 8:14 PM UTC