Long-term girlfriend checks almost every life-partner box, but I still have doubts about attraction and chemistry. What should I do?

I’m looking for some outside perspective because I’ve been stuck in my head about this for a long time.

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 6 years. Most of the relationship has been long distance (Midwest vs South). She’s honestly an amazing person in many ways and objectively a great partner. She’s extremely loyal, honest, supportive, hardworking, career driven, good with my family, and I trust her completely. She’s also very committed to self-improvement and has put a lot of work into therapy and personal growth. I genuinely believe she would be a great wife and mother.

We also have a lot of practical things going for us: similar life goals, both want kids, we get along well with each other’s families, and financially we would be very stable together.

The problem is that I’ve struggled with physical attraction to her for most of the relationship. I don’t think she’s unattractive, but I’ve never really found her face very attractive. When we first started dating I was younger and more inexperienced and was mostly attracted to her body and the sexual chemistry. Over time I grew very attached to her as a person and she became my biggest support system.

Because of that, the relationship has continued much longer than I originally expected and now we’re at the point where she wants to move forward toward marriage.

Another thing that complicates things is that our relationship often feels easier when we’re long distance. When we spend long stretches together in person I sometimes start feeling irritated by small things and questioning the relationship more. When we’re apart again those feelings fade and I feel attached to her again.

I also wouldn’t say she feels like my “best friend.” We get along fine and care about each other deeply, but it’s not the kind of effortless connection I’ve sometimes imagined having with a partner.

At the same time, I’m very aware that finding someone with her level of character is rare. She is genuinely a great person and partner. I worry that if I leave I might regret losing someone who is objectively such a strong catch.

There are also some lifestyle differences (for example she strongly wants to live near her family in the Midwest, but I prefer to stay near my family in the South). We both sound willing to compromise on the location by moving back and forth throughout the years.

So I feel stuck between two thoughts:

On one hand, she checks almost every box you’d want in a life partner and I could probably build a stable and good life with her.

On the other hand, I worry that the lack of strong physical attraction and the lingering doubts could become a bigger problem over decades of marriage.

I care about her deeply and the last thing I want to do is hurt her or waste more of her time if I’m not the right partner for her.

Has anyone been in a situation like this where your partner was an amazing person but you struggled with attraction or chemistry? Do these marriages tend to last?

I realize this topic can come across as superficial, and I feel a lot of guilt even admitting that attraction is such a big factor for me. I’m not trying to judge my girlfriend or diminish her as a person. She’s genuinely wonderful. I’m just trying to be honest with myself about whether this is something that could become a bigger issue in a marriage.

I am actively working on scheduling therapy to discuss this with a therapist.

TLDR: My girlfriend of 7 years is an incredible partner in terms of character, loyalty, and life goals, but I’ve always had doubts about physical attraction and whether our connection feels like a true “best friend” relationship. Should that be a deal breaker for marriage?