First, I know I’m spineless. I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I can’t break away and I am about to start work with a new therapist on top of the one I have to work through it.

My parents tried to have my child removed from our care by making false allegations mainly against my husband, that were later found to be unfounded. At the time they were watching my child for my husband. After the drop-off, they filed for emergency guardianship and then refused to return the child. I was out of state when this happened, and because of the seriousness of the accusations the child was temporarily removed. We about a five-month court battle. I got my child back the day before the hearing and the case was dropped. My parents were facing contempt because they were having my child call them mom and dad, refused to tell us where daycare was, and wouldn’t release records from a doctor’s visit. During that time they also tried to go to my husband’s boss with accusations and were told not to come back. 

When everything was over, we moved across the country to start over. I tried to go no contact, but my mom kept messaging me. I’ve had some medical issues and the few times we’ve texted it’s mostly been about that because she claims to have similar issues. They don’t know where we live now, but every time they contact me I feel a deep sense of dread. I sent my dad a quick “happy birthday” message recently and we talked briefly and I immediately regretted it and have had anxiety ever since. A few days ago a message was sent trying to guilt me into talking, bringing up a sibling’s birthday and saying there’s hope things are fixed before they die but no apology or anything and basically made it clear they still don’t see they’re wrong.

 I didn’t respond, but it’s been weighing on me. For context, one sibling helped my parents orchestrate everything after they found out I was considering moving out of state for better medical care and that my child would be coming with me. They filed the next day. 

We’ve never had a healthy relationship. My dad has really bad ptsd and my mom has always pushed medications and diagnoses on me, to the point that I had fatty liver supposedly at 15 from all the pills I was on, some starting at age four and controlled adhd and anxiety meds. Once I became independent it felt like they reacted to the loss of control. I know my responsibility is to protect my family, but I’m curious what others would do in this situation and why it seems to be that I just can’t cut away from them. 

My biggest fear is that if I don’t respond at all they might try something like this again, even though realistically it wouldn’t go anywhere. It’s that fear, it rocked me so bad I live in fear every day of something happening and completely stopped talking to my entire family, even the ones on my side. I got a virtual address because my mom wouldn’t stop asking for mine and I was really afraid she was going to look me up. It’s all fear of my parents and what they might do. They tried this with my older siblings kids but they’re a drug addict with mental health issues so they didn’t ever have to go to court because my sibling was constantly pawning them off on anyone they could for a few years until I had my kid. I’m really sorry for how long this was but it’s left me with terrible anxiety and I don’t see my therapist until Tuesday. 

Struggling to remain NC after parents tried taking my child