AITAH for calling out my 'friend'


Long story somewhat short I (27f) and my best friend (27f) we'll call her Stacy, had some dramas lately. She 'couldn't' get a roommate in time for next lease so I saved her by signing onto it. She started dating this 31 year old (we'll call him John) with a 13 year old kid from next door. I met him, he's alright but he started neglecting his kid because Stacy used to be a stoner and he thought it was cool because that meant he can smoke as well. 

He started smoking weed with her in his house with the kid. I didn't agree with it but his life their choices. However I noticed that she started smoking weed in the rental that I am also on the lease on. It was every night. John would come over and smoke in her room, blow the smoke into the house vents smoke in different rooms and it was bad, when I told him the window was open he got a bit pissy then said it's all the same like he owned the place not like our rental portfolios are on the line especially in today's economy. Bro it was the vent, it'll go back into the house. I was extremely worried about my rental portfolio. 

I confided in my other friend that was in our 'group' of 3, we'll call her kayla. 

I talked to kayla about this and a few other things because she said she wouldn't tell her and that she was all ears. I was wanting to get off the lease because of it but ended up not doing so as it 'wasn't a good enough excuse'. I then needed to go on some sort of government payments as I wasn't working at the time due to health but still employed, so rent assistance was the only way I'd be able to get income for my recovery with medical stuff. The payments would go to the landlord so instead my family decided to sign onto it saying I'm renting from my parents. 

We also vented about Stacy being high during girls night, or her getting high at John's when she was expecting us over. Keep in mind I had a pretty bad weed addiction in the past and it was resurfacing. I don't blame others for my actions but Stacy knowing I didn't have a good relationship with weed then having it around me all the time wasn't the healthiest thing to be doing. John also yelled at me in front of her and she did nothing. 

Kayla turned it around, told Stacy and it severed our relationship. 13 years we were friends for. Stacy and I had issues in the past, a pretty bad break up but we always resolved things in due time. This isn't the first time Kayla's decided to rip into my life unwarranted. 

When I was deeply suicidal I told Stacy and Kayla, Stacy listened but she knows that I'm aware enough to know if it got to that stage I'd take myself to hospital. Night driving was my only vice to escape life. Kayla decides to message my partner at the time, terrifying her and then telling her to take my car keys away from me and then made up a suicide plan behind my back. If she came to me about it she'd know that I already had one and secondly it wasn't at that stage yet as well as not even asking me how I'm going, if I needed help or anything. 

I had a PTSD breakdown, my ex told me a lot of stuff, it's too much to get into but it was very religious and end-timesy and it's honestly terrified me and I questioned reality. Kayla wasn't ever my go to person after the whole suicide plan thing. I said I wasn't doing well and where my head was at to the two girls, because friends listen. I never need someone to do anything for me, I am capable of asking myself. Kayla said that God was 'fed up with me and my shit' and a bunch of other things that didn't help. 

When I got put into hospital I transferred my money to her to keep safe. (Looking back I have no idea why). She agree'd and said she'll keep it safe until I'm out of hospital and gave me a lot of supportive words and said she'd visit. I was extremely appreciative that she'd come see me even if it was for a little bit, knowing I had a friend who cared that also went through the same stuff as I did meant a lot. She then contacted my brother (who wasn't meant to know I was in hospital as he was on a business trip for a couple weeks and we didn't want to worry him) to get my grandparents numbers and decided to tell them I was 'too much to handle.' Keep in mind she also has quite bad mental health issues, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety and recently self diagnosed herself with ADHD or at least says she does. I'm not that person to question these things but with how she's gone about it it makes me wonder so forgive me. But to say I was 'too much' given her 'religious PTSD' makes me feel like shit. I'd never say to someone they're too much especially if they're trying to seek help, or an ear when they feel like their problems are too much. 

When she decided to tell Stacy 'everything that I told her' which was exaggerated entirely, she would post on her social media stories that she 'called me out' and 'it's better having a supportive friend than a fake friend.' A supportive friend wouldn't talk to others about the things they confide in you with, a supportive friend would also gee I don't know, support your friends? Or at least ask what kind of support I need. 

I now struggle to open up to people about struggling and such. 

I decided to call her out above. Was I the asshole for not letting this shit slide or am I the asshole. 