Do I hv vaginismus

I read on google when doing pelvic exam they hv to finger you to see if you hv vaginismus or if u clench.. for me years ago I was assaulted n ever since i get pain down their...so I decided to finger well tryyy finger myself n i saw the vagina entrence tightened up n closed up n I was in pain I didnt go in just the finger nail n i was in pain do i have vaginismus? I am not ready yo go get checked i hv a fear of anyone touching me