Being non-binary but wanting to pass as a man?

So I'm really confused about my gender. Used to be a masc woman until I realized I like the masc part, but not the woman part. I know for sure I'm not a woman, but I don't feel like a man and don't want to be *a man*, but I really want to go on T to get all the changes and just look like a man.

My problem is that I don't understand why am I like this. Like why do I wanna look like a man if I don't strongly identity with being a man either? I sorta call myself non-binary but I don't like labels that much.

Anyone who felt similar? I want T but I'm scared I'd regret it because I'm not a man, but I've basically spent my entire life trying to pass as one. And I've reached a point where I can't make my body look more masculine without T