parenthood has felt like only motherhood for my tiny family :/

when i got off work he was working on his car with his friend , he called me and said he had pizza for me so i don’t bother making dinner just dinner for the baby, ive been really busy with baby i haven’t had time to take a shower and i let him know in the morning i really wanted to be able to take a shower , i didn’t even get to because he came back from his friends to late it just didn’t work because it’s on the babies schedule not mine lol. Come around 8:30 (i go to bed at 9) he is finally home and forgot the pizza, i was obviously frustrated but didn’t fuss about it and just made a corn dog. he was getting so angry and saying what you want me to go back and get your fucking pizza. he was being so aggressive i knew there was more to it , and of course there was. his friend was asking my bf to go pick up a girl for him , my bf was saying “no she will get mad” but not in a actually saying no way , in a way to set it up for his friend to place his judgement. his friend was calling me a buzzkill, a cockblock and said “just lie to her and say you’re grabbing something for me”.

my boyfriend was getting mad saying well i know you’re going to get mad because it’s a girl , it’s now 11pm , i was annoyed because parenthood has only affected me , not him. i can’t imagine ever just up and leaving to go help my friend hook up with a girl while i have my baby at home, im a mom first. he doesn’t want to be a dad which shows by his actions. he can’t comprehend why im annoyed that i waited all night to take a shower just to not be able to and then thought i got to have a break from making dinner only to be met with no dinner because i thought he was bringing me some anyways , he left at 12am despite me expressing it feels not right and didn’t get home till like 1:30…to grab his pizza he forgot of course lol.

i love being a mom, my baby has changed my life he brings me so much joy but it makes me really sad i had a baby with a man who has put the workload of parenthood only on me. he’s never bathed him, gotten him to sleep , and gets to shower whenever he pleases. i don’t feel burnt out from being a mother but i do feel burnt out from being a relationship with someone who doesn’t understand