A slight regret

Liked an exchange student for almost 2 years. We were close, but I knew he was leaving after 6 months so I tried to back away.

Still, I made moves—invited him out, shared interests. Got indirectly rejected like 4 times. During this, he'd hide his IG stories from me. When he unhid them, it'd just be memes or reasons he rejected me. Weird but whatever. Man also invited me out of guilt in the end nearing his exchange ( i believe it’s guilt, cause he posted the same activity and hid that story from me before asking me lol)

He did things that felt like interest, but I didn't trust my own read (feelings mess with perspective).

Confessed. He rejected me but said he "quite liked" me. That breadcrumb kept me hanging. Kept wondering why he hid stories.

He left. Contact faded. Then he planned to maybe come back for studies. At some point he pulled the story-hiding thing AGAIN. I confronted him. He called me crazy. I removed him.

Two weeks later, he sent a meme (?). Peace offering? No idea.

A year later, he actually came back to study for 2 years. Messaged me on the one platform I hadn't deleted him on. I thought we could be friends. Backfired immediately,saw him with another girl, realized I still had feelings.

Swallowed it. Eventually asked. He said he's "seeing people but not dating yet."

Finally deleted him for my own mental health. I feel so mad at myself for holding onto the breadcrumb rejection he gave me… giving meaning to small actions he would do

Just needed to put this somewhere.