Is it bad to feel guilty about kissing my (16F) crush (16M) ?

So to start with context my friend (James) had a problem with my best friend (16F, Ivy) and ever since I met Ivy she always told me about all the problems that she had with James and how he was an assh0le and all that. So me and James had a class in common so I often saw him, the thing is that he isn't even ugly, he works out, he's a gentleman and he's a good friend. After a few months he ask me about a Spiderman t-shirt I had, I started to talk to him more and we ended as friends. That was almost 3 years ago when I was in my second year of hs (I was hold back a year). Now in my 3 year of hs (I was hold back AGAIN) me and him were still in contact and even hanging out with a common friend we both have. But I think in December we talk about how he liked me and all that, I told him that I liked him too but we could be a couple bc of ivy. And at that point ivy didn't know I liked James so I was trying to stay only as friends, but Idk how ivy found out that I liked him (I think another friend told her) so she started telling me how much of a shitty friend I was and that a I was a false and all that, I tried to tell her that I didn't want to liked him and that I was sorry but she didn't want to listen so she ended mad at me. Anyway later I tried to kms and she and I forgot about that and yeah that. okey so las weekend or so I ended up hanging out with James bc I wanted to explain why I did everything and all that, we went to a mall and after we sat in a park to talk. we talked about everything and he HOLD MY HAND after I started crying bc of everything so yeah. I walked him home and it the bus stop he hug me, we ended up super close together and I thought he was gonna kiss me but then he told me he didn't hug me with those intentions so I kissed him IN THE CHEEK and I hug him again. I started to talk about smth I don't remember and then he hold my chin and KISSED ME yk kiss me on the LIPS. And we started talking about how I didn't know how to. the bus came to our stop so I hug him goodbye and went home. Okey so, ehm, I didn't told ivy yet bc idk how she'll react and I'm a little scared that she's gonna end our friendship and yeah, that. also this isn't my first "relationship" I had 2 girlfriends before (17F both) but I was only 2 months with them for things I did but I think that's for another story. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEE tell me what to do with James and how do I tell me I think I'm not ready for a relationship yet 💔