The RSD is strong tonight.

I can’t sleep, so let’s take to Reddit!

I had two friends (A and B) that I used to work with. We have a chat going that isn’t super active, just occasionally sending reels to each other. A sends a message about a week ago saying we should all get coffee sometime. I reply, “Yes please! I would love that!” But the conversation ends there.

Yesterday morning, I checked social media before work, and I saw that A and B hung out over the weekend, just the two of them. They got together and made crafts. (And I LOVE crafts.) I’ve had a hard time managing the RSD ever since.

It’s not like they’re not allowed to hang out. The painful part is that there is a sitting invitation in our chat, and they messaged each other outside of that to make their own plans for some reason. And to add insult to injury, they post it on social media like I’m not going to see it? Like it’s not going to hurt my feelings?

I just hate this feeling that I’m not thought about or considered, and this isn’t the first time this has happened. The worst part about RSD is that it’s never just the one thing. It brings back every single time I was excluded, or left on read, or let down. I heard somewhere that ADHDers can end up in one-sided friendships, and I relate to that, but I have no idea why or how it happens.

I truly try my best to be a good person and a good friend. All I have to show for that is having exactly one (1) friend who wants to hang out with me and is willing to meet me halfway. That really stings.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for exactly. A space to vent and solidarity, I think.