Potty training help, health visitor has made me feel awful.

Hi, we've been following the ERIC potty training approach. My little one is 22 months now, and since 18 months ish we've been doing the "preparation stage"/gentle potty learning i.e changing as soon as wet, encouraging regular potty sits and nappy free time, doing changes standing, in the bathroom if possible, talking about wees and poos. Having the potty just there in the room so she gets used to it.

We've varied the amount of potty sits, at first it was just a couple of times a day then we built it up. At this point she got upset and started refusing so we took a break from offering and continued with the other preparation stuff. Tried again to increase potty sits around Christmas but then I ended up really poorly from pregnancy sickness so we again went back to basics.

My little one is very vocal and will tell us when she has done wees and poos about 50% of the time, other times she gives other cues like pulling her nappy. I thought at some point we've done all the prep we can and need to try stopping nappies. I'm very aware if she seems not ready we can stop and try again later. Both my husband and I have a few days off this week so I thought lets try. Long story short, I reached out to the HV team because my little one has been very scared of her poo when she's had accidents these past 24 hours, like physically jumping from it and crying hysterically. She's fine with wees and has done 2 big ones on the potty so far today, no accidents with those yet. I just wanted a bit of advice.

The HV I spoke to basically said if I've been training her since 18 months (I've been preparing her, not actually training her and I made this clear to the HV team as they recommended ERIC to me) then that's "a long time out of her life" and stopping nappies will only make her anxious so I should stop and take a break. I'm actually really upset that they think I've been making her feel anxious. I've been as gentle as possible with my approach and done everything ERIC advises, but she has to stop nappies at some point doesn't she?

I know she's still very young but I'm pregnant and we are also moving house in a couple of months, I don't want too much happening for her in one go. I'm very hormonal and emotional which doesn't help.