Too fast

I gain a crush on guys especially guys I talk to online (I’m 25F) and I end up accidentally love bombing and falling for them deeply unintentionally trapping myself by giving them all my attention when I shouldn’t. They are all usually dry texters that just match energy. But sometimes I accidentally make them like me back but I lose feelings. I have ADHD and severe depression so idk if that’s the issue. But why do I end up losing the feelings just as fast as they come? I really want to fall in love and get married one day but I fantasize so fast and get excited just to make myself feel empty, lonely, and sad. I want to get married one day but I suddenly have fears and thoughts of being trapped in a boring unfun relationship so my emotions just go away. I don’t know what to do. And I hate the person I am right now. I wish I wasn’t a rusher. And I don’t like hurting guy’s feelings by suddenly distancing myself. I’m currently texting a guy now and I don’t think I like him in a loving way anymore. What do I do??? I’m so tired. I think I should find love offline but idk if that’ll make a difference or not. I never dated irl though. So maybe that’s the issue.