I will suck for Sustain Release tickets

This past weekend I went to Nowadays non-stop and the vibes were immaculate. Some of the people I met were talking about this festival Sustain Release, which is very similar to festivals like Osmosis and Making Time. The twist is that it's invite-only, which has me gagging to go.

I am new to the New York scene, but my partner and I have thrown parties in the Boulder, CO area. I can tell this techno summer camp is the kind of place we belong, but we don't know anyone to sponsor us yet. So I'm making a very reasonable offer...

I am willing to trade oral pleasure in exchange for a guest spot. Just to be clear: I do not like to give head. This would purely be an act of service. Think of it less as sex work and more like mutual aid. I have been told that I am unusually skilled at fellatio given the deep spiritual disappointment conveyed by my eye contact.

If you take me up on this offer, you will be enter into an even more exclusive club than Sustain membership. The only other people I've made this trade with were college ❄️ dealer, the guy who got me on the guest list at The Loft, and Keinemusik. So if you’ve got a Sustain invite and a strong belief in community barter systems, my DMs (and throat) are open.

I promise I will not enjoy it.