What’s with the new generation of parents?

So we just welcomed our first grandchild. We are young grandparents (40 & 38) and we were so excited when we found out about him.

Then the mom (we’re parents to the dad) started with all her “rules” first thing that ticked me & my husband off was that they were telling anyone when she goes into labor (she ended up being induced and only told my husband because he’s the dads employer)

Then she informs us only the grandparents & aunts & uncles will get to visit in the hospital (so me & my husband on our side of the family & her mom and dad and 5 siblings on her side) and that the great grandparents won’t get to visit for 2 weeks 😡 she’s not super close to her grandparents so I get it but our son is and always has been super close to his grandparents so they really bothered us and our sons grandparents.

She says the baby isn’t staying over night with ANYONE until he’s at least 3 years old 😳😡….. she exclusively breast feeding which is fantastic but refuses to pump to allow anyone else to feed him unless there’s an emergency where she can’t feed him but idk how that’ll work because if you don’t pump in advanced and there’s an emergency how the heck will you pump enough during that time but whatever.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Our kids grew up being so close to their grandparents… they had their own room at one set of grandparents house…went on trips with them…all kinds of adventures. I honestly wouldn’t have been able to survive those early days especially without the help of my in laws they were so helpful.

But the way this mom is it sounds like she isn’t wanting us very involved even tho we live less than a mile from them, hell she wont use a gently used car seat (infant carrier less than a year old ) that we got from a family friend because of “safety” concerns and purchased a convertible seat for a newborn! Like who in their right mind wants to unbuckle an infant to get them in and out of the car 🤦🏻‍♀️ yet she let our son build the babies crib and this kid has never build anything in his life 🤦🏻‍♀️

Idk I’m just frustrated and annoyed and afraid we won’t get to be super involved in our first grandchild’s life.