I think my obsession with feeling "grown up" is the main fuel for my burnout

I'm 29. I feel like I have an obsession with not appearing "childish" due to immense shame. My interests are video games, anime, ttrpg, and drawing. Now obviously, there are plenty of adults who enjoy those things. But for some reason I feel so ashamed of them.

I feel like I have an intense shame of seeming childish because of my social struggles with autism. I've never had a romantic relationship despite desiring one. I'm not able to work due to a separate disability (schizoaffective disorder) and autism certainly doesnt make that any easier to do. I can't drive either, not unless it's within 10 minutes from my house. I drive a reverse motor-trike because i feel more in control of a small 1-person vehicle despite less external protection. As you can see, a lot of traditionally "adult" things are currently outside my reach and might always be.

But this makes me so so miserable. I find myself unable to get out of bed for days other than to go to the restroom sometimes. I can see this shame and obsession is a root cause of my burnout, and I'm trying really hard to work with my therapist to allow myself to be "childish" and not constantly try to prove to myself and others that I'm "grown up".

Does anyone else have experience with this specific feeling? I'd just like to hear your experiences and also see if anyone has some tips for overcoming this.