To you.

To the one who didn't choose me. It's early morning again. And I'm still unlearning how to miss you. Not because I hate you, but because I finally realized I loved you more than you were ready to receive. I stayed loyal to a feeling that only lived in my chest. I fought for something time and time again that you were okay with letting die quietly. I kept hoping that one day the silence would turn into effort but it never did. You didn't choose me and for the longest time, i thought over and over that I was the problem. That maybe I loved you too hard or that I didn't love you enough, but tonight I see it for what it is, You didn't choose me. You didn't choose me because you weren't capable of loving someone who wanted to stay by your side through thick and thin. You were used to chaos, to push and pull, to being chased. And I, I was steady. I was safe . I was love without conditions. And maybe that's exactly what scared you. I let everything we had go. All of it. The almosts, the maybes and the if onlys. Because I deserve more than being a favourite option, I deserve to be chosen back fully, boldly and without question. If you ever come looking for me , If you ever find yourself wondering what I would of been like to grow up with, to heal with, to build with. Just know that I would given you everything. But this time I'm finally learning to give that to myself first.