H not receiving gratitude well and pulling me into old patterns

I have a Masters and Bachelors in Engineering. And I had to study further to get into my current work. But that was nothing compared to the skills.

Studying = 1 x brutal Skills = 1000 x brutal

Had a slip up today. H keeps trying to pull me into the same patterns of anger by being short and sometimes disrespectful. If I have even a hint of irritation in my voice (I am not justifying it but sometimes happens. I am only human) he will respond in a way that will make me angry and I want to just snap. It happens maybe 1 in 20 times. Has anyone dealt with this? What do you do.

I am thanking him for every small little thing. I know it is making a shit ton of difference. What I show gratitude for, definitely grows. But I see he has a hard time receiving it. Like he says "yeah yeah you dont have to say thanks". I want to keep going because I can see how much he has needed it. And I truly think this is the way to repair in our relationship. Should I tone it down though. Has anyone dealt with this.