Realized my anxiety was preparing me for disasters that will probably never happen

Spent two hours last night planning what I'd do if I got laid off. I'm not getting laid off. There's no indication I'm getting laid off. My last review was great. But my brain decided we needed an emergency action plan at 11pm on a Tuesday.

This is what my anxiety does. It disguises itself as being responsible. You're not spiraling, you're just thinking ahead. You're not catastrophizing, you're being realistic. And I believed that for years because honestly it feels productive. You're problem solving. Except the problems aren't real.

I added it up recently. The amount of time I spend preparing for things that never happen. Rehearsing conversations that go fine. Googling symptoms that turn out to be nothing. It's hours, every single day. And my anxiety has an almost perfect failure rate. I could not name five things it warned me about that actually came true. But it keeps showing up with the same confidence every time and I just keep listening.

I don't really know how to stop yet. But seeing it for what it is instead of mistaking it for instinct feels like a start.