I (23f) dont know how to continue my relationship with my sister (20f) and need help?

she is 20f, almost 21, and I am 23f. For most of our childhood I feel like we got along well except for normal sibling fights. In high school things got worse and it’s just always felt like I need to tiptoe around her to not make any drama. Im the oldest child, shes the middle, and we have a younger brother (19m). it will seem like we have a completely normal relationship until out of no where something that I do bothers her and she blows up… she has adhd (diagnosed last year) but idk how bad or if this would be the cause of her issues

just a few examples… we have been on vacation for the past week so Ive been around her more which seems to cause more problems than when I just see her once a week.

nothing had gone wrong at all this day and she was posing for my mom to take a picture of her. She is very performative and before she started posing she laughingly asked if holding a camera would be too performative. My mom and I said nothing and she just took it off laughing. I was smiling enjoying the time. She kept posing and said she should do something cooler and did a weird pose thar was standing with one foot up? Like not any normal foot up poses… just looked like she was standing on one leg like a flamingo... I was still smiling and shook my head trying to be nice and say without saying that the pose was not it. She does this face where she raises her eyebrows with a straight face and tilts her head like she’s superior to you and said “what [name]??” I didn’t say anything and looked away because I wasn’t trying to cause any trouble… I  was just trying to do a normal sibling thing…she stomped back to get her phone from my mom and mom asked what she was doing and she said “name was shaking her head and saying ‘dont do that” in a tattle tale voice. I said “I didn’t say that?” my mom said she didn’t want us arguing. it’s always that with my parents… their solution to my problem is that I “need to be more loving towards her.”

today…

Having a good time and there was no drama with sister since we were driving most of the day until we stopped at the hotel. Her bag was in the way of my husband so he moved it out of the way so he wouldn’t step on it and so that it wouldn’t fall out of the van on the ground outside. She then violently pushed her bag back so it hit him in the legs. He gently pushed it back so he could get out and right after she pushed it back again. I moved it again so he could get my stuff under it and she yelled “dont touch my stuff!” then pulled his bag off the seat so that it fell on the ground. I told her not to throw people’s stuff and she yelled at me not to throw her stuff. I said I didn’t and she said “yes you did!” With angry eyes. At that point I just laughed at her because she was so ridiculous. I in no way threw her bag. I lifted it so it was upright and not laying on its side. She then laughed at me in a mocking way. I just didn’t do anything after that but moved out of the way. I happened to be near her bag and she yanked it away from its spot. She then purposefully took a really, really, really long time gathering her things so I couldn’t get my stuff and just needed to wait so she wouldn’t do anything else... now theres just gonna be weird tension because if I do anything that might bother her it’ll escalate…

last time we went on this trip was awful too and she was just constantly doing things to me and I had bo idea why she would do them. It’s not just the trip though..

a few weeks ago we were having a family game night and she got angry because I wasnt putting the coins I was giving her on her mat when I couldnt even reach the mat… she started throwing the coins back at me and even hid cards from me messing up the game...

a few years ago she didn’t talk to me for about 2 months because I didnt want her picking me up from the airport (a 6 hour drive)….