From Despair to Questioning?

A few years back, I stumbled upon what I came to know as nihilism. Someone advised me to stop spiralling down this path, and that’s when I discovered it had a name. They warned me that it doesn’t end well. It was the typical “oh, we live, we struggle so much, constant suffering, just to die-yada yada” that started it all.

I gave it some serious thought. I came to the conclusion that, with birth as point A and death as point B, why not smile a little more, savour the things we love, and make more friends? I’m going to work anyway, so why not enjoy it a bit more? Why not talk to people more? Do everything we do a little more because we’re going to die anyway! That’s what I told myself, at least.

Now, I question again. Why bother from point A to point B when we already know the outcome? But on the other hand, doesn’t it defy any sense we have when we watch movies, where we also already know or can predict the outcomes, yet we still watch them? So, is life like a long, grand movie?

Life—a lengthy movie filled with monotonous tasks, regrets, loneliness, pain, boredom, and so on? But don’t we also experience the positives? Yes, but aren’t they queued after the struggles or sufferings we endure to achieve those positive emotions or outcomes? Even after experiencing those positive things, don’t we feel the same after a while? So, what’s the point?

Now, I think I’ll have to think more or less because who knows?

And who is this “who”?