hate that it felt so good

21F, I’ll keep it brief.

I’ve been practically molested my whole life; first by my mom’s ex boyfriend, and then by my older brother.

I won’t go into much detail here just because, well, that’s something I wanted to do more 1 on 1 or something but anyway. My brother was the first person to give me head too, first time I truly remember feeling so good, and sometimes, as much as I hate him and hate what he did to me, I hate even more that he wasn’t even a man enough to go all the way. He was young too, not even really a man yet so not surprising I suppose, but god am I disappointed. I’ve had sex dreams, much more often recently, about him touching me now. And god fuck, it’s like I can feel him inside me. I’ve had vivid dreams and fantasies about him inside me and I just ask him to go harder.

I love women, always have and always will, but recently I’ve just been wanting… it. I’m 5 fucking foot and just incredibly easy to bend over and break, put into place, and recently that’s really all I’ve been wanting. Especially thinking about that fantasy. I hate it and I love it at the same time. I hate it so much.

If you want to hear more, well, feel free to ask. Thanks for reading guys.