Abuse from kid brother (I’m 18)

I (18 year old female) want to start off by saying a few things I feel are important.

• I LOVE my brother. Nothing he does could ever change that, and I don’t want anyone to come in here trash talking him. I just need some guidance and support, and I don’t have anyone I can really talk to about this.

• My brother is mildly autistic. I am as well but I’m not sure if that’s as important to this story. My brother presents neurotypical basically until he opens his mouth and starts talking about sonic the hedgehog.

• My kid brother and kid sister and I are going through a lot right now with our parents, specifically my dad. They are divorced and have been for a long time. My dad is emotionally and verbally abusive. I have fought hard to change that for my siblings, so has my mom. Unfortunately, I don’t think he can change, and we’re currently trying to figure out how to get them out of there in the most legally sound way so that my mom doesn’t lose custody. My brother did not act the way he does until after the divorce, and I firmly believe it is festering bc of having to endure my father.

• I HAVE TOLD MY MOM. She is telling my brother’s therapist. This is purely because I want to know other people’s opinions and thoughts, or know if anyone else has been through this.

Okay. I think that’s all the major points.

I am the oldest of three siblings. (I’m 18, my sister is 11, and my brother is 10.) For about two-three years now, my ten year old brother has been physically abusing me. He hits, punches, kicks, scratches, pinches, climbs on top of me, and yanks my limbs, hair and clothes.

He hurts me whenever I try to reason with him after he acts destructively with others. He does not abuse anyone else, just me, but he does argue and yell a lot. He also hurts me if I play music he doesn’t like, or just when I do anything normal that he doesn’t want me to do.

I do not hurt him back. I will lightly pinch him or push him away when he gets very violent and I am trying to get him off so I can get away. LIGHT pinches. I WILL NOT HURT my brother and will not accept this as a suggestion, fyi.

He says aggressive things before and after he hurts me.

“Well, I wouldn’t have to hurt you if you’d just do what I tell you.”

I have recordings, many of them. I have started recording him every time he gets like this in case I need to show someone and/or if he seriously injures me.

I know this might all sound silly, me being much older than him and him still hurting me, but like I said, I refuse to hurt him back, so that’s part of why he is able to hurt me so badly.

I also do try to remove myself from the same room, but he follows me and breaks things.

I’m very worried at the moment because he’s almost at that age where boys shoot up in size and height, and if this behavior doesn’t stop he could seriously hurt me or someone else.

He doesn’t always do this, but it is every day at my dad’s house. Overall, he is a kind person, but he can never be wrong and always shames me, telling me what a brat and terrible person I am.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to feel. I’ve had depression+suicidal thoughts before, and honestly it feels like it’s crashing back down on me again because of this. I just need to not feel like such a disappointment and just know that I’m not alone. Maybe some advice as well.

Thank you.