I had done something to my nephew and I regret it

bad grammar

To begin with, I'm a victim of SA at the age of 6 a bunch of kid around my age show me how to masturbate (and ofc I don't know what is it but I just follow them) at the age of 7-8/10/11 one of the kid that is about 3-5 years older than me did something nasty to me (like he rub his things on my butt until he satisfy) and it happen multiple time. As I grow up I keep rethinking about what I experience when I was younger and it lead me to watching porn. Now I'm 17(18 this June) have porn addicted because of this. And I'm not saying this as an excuse to do something bad to my nephew. I'm just saying this is one of the reasons that lead me to do something unimaginable.

I rub my things (wearing pants) on my nephew buns(7) with his pants on and I've bait him to touch my things multiple time . It's been happening a couple times like 3-4. Last it happen on 5-6 months ago and now it just happens yesterday because of my lust. He's 7 years old. I don't feel anything like this feelings except towards him maybe because I've done it before. I hate myself for doing it because I promise myself not do it again but yesterday it just happens and it worsen. Right now I choose to not to be close with him until I find a way to make sure I don't feel anything like this again

And I know I'm a nasty uncle for doing this and I really regret and feel ashamed. But I'm scare I'll feel to do it again to him. I don't know what to do now