26F 29M- 10 years

After mulling this over for YEARS, I am certain that commenters will have a clear answer, but please understand the confusion and ambivalence that I am in. Dated for almost 10 years, lived together for 5. I’ve always had strong doubts. Tried leaving on numerous occasions. Everytime though, he has given me a pity party, begged me not to leave him, and eventually (although I don’t think on purpose) has made me feel crazy for having doubts. In the recent maybe 6 months he has made big changes and done what I have asked. I think I may feel resentful that he couldn’t have done that years ago. Now here’s the big problem; in those years I truly think I fell out of love. And I don’t know if I can fall back in. We now have the love that I choose him because I do “love him” but I am not “in love with him.” Now I know- relationships evolve into that state after a while, but is it crazy that I want to feel something every once in a while? Intimacy has left the chat because I need to feel something from it, and to be honest I’m just turned off. I think I put out for so long when I wasn’t feeling like it that it has rewired my brain. He doesn’t lack in that department though, I still take care of him so that’s all he needs. He’s pushing marriage, as he should be at this point, but I can’t even bring myself to go on a vacation with him that he so badly wants to go on because it sounds like a drag to me. He’s never mean anymore, he’s more helpful, but I’m just annoyed with him. Everything, every conversation feels like work for me. I want so badly to feel something. He believes that you only leave if there’s infidelity. My wandering eye has been increasing and I just feel guilt. I can’t get married unless it’s a hell yes.

TLDR; I think I have fallen out of love. Is it too late for us