AIO AITA for wanting to cut off my best friend after he sided with someone who kept making comments about my country while it’s literally at war? I had a best friend, “Ryan,” for about 3 years. We were extremely close. At one point he was basically living at my house. My family treated him like fam

AITA for wanting to cut off my best friend after he sided with someone who kept making comments about my country while it’s literally at war?

I had a best friend, “Ryan,” for about 3 years. We were extremely close. At one point he was basically living at my house. My family treated him like family — he slept over constantly, ate with us, and we spent almost every day together.

Eventually I had to leave that country because I was a foreigner and it became difficult for foreigners to stay there. Even after I moved, Ryan and I stayed really close online. We would talk and play games for hours almost every day. If I had work we talked less sometimes, but overall we were still very involved in each other’s lives and knew everything about each other.

Recently I started hanging out more with Ryan and his friend group online. One of them is his boyfriend “Luke.” Another is a newer friend, “Mary,” who they met through a birthday party for a mutual friend.

At first everything seemed fine. Sometimes it would even just be me and Mary playing games since we were the only girls in the group.

But some things started to feel off. For example, Mary would send gaming memes in the group chat and caption them like “this is me, Ryan and Luke,” even though I was also always there playing with them. It felt strange but I ignored it.

Later Ryan started moving into a new place and he and Mary began hanging out in person almost every day since they live in the same country. I started feeling like maybe I was being replaced, but I tried to brush that feeling off.

Before the main argument happened, there was another situation. I mentioned that someday I would like to buy a house in my home country, Iran. Mary responded with something like “so you want to buy a house in one hell or the other.” That upset me because she was basically calling both my country and the country I currently live in “hell.”

When I reacted, the group told me I was being dramatic and “in fight mode.” She eventually apologized and I tried to move on.

Another time we had a conversation about languages. I mentioned that when you learn several languages you start noticing that some languages share similar words. Mary got very offended and said I was insulting her country’s language. She argued with me about it for a long time, but during that entire argument nobody told her she was “in fight mode” or overreacting like they did to me before.

Then the situation in Iran got worse because of the war. My boyfriend is currently in Iran. One night he sent me a message saying bombs were hitting near their house and that if something happened to him he loved me. After that the internet in Iran went down and I couldn’t contact him or my family.

I was extremely stressed and trying to distract myself online.

At one point I sent a Calvin Klein ad in the group chat because it had an actress I like and jokingly said something like “it worked, I’m attracted.” Mary replied “girl we get it, you like boys and girls.”

For context, she had been doing this constantly. No matter what I said she would reply “we get it.” At first it was funny but it became annoying.

Because I was already very stressed about the war and not hearing from my family, I said something like “can you stop saying that? It’s annoying.”

Instead of just dropping it, Ryan jumped in and said I was “in fight mode” and that I think everyone is attacking me. I explained that my country is literally at war and I hadn’t heard from my family or boyfriend, so maybe this wasn’t the best time to keep pushing jokes.

Mary then said something like “if they’re dead why are you arguing about a woman,” which honestly shocked me.

At that point Ryan and others kept saying I was overreacting or getting “rage baited.” None of them had even asked how I was doing with everything happening in my country.

The only person who actually checked on me was Ryan’s boyfriend, Luke. He privately asked if I was okay and I explained everything to him.

Later Ryan messaged me saying I shouldn’t expect people to automatically know what I’m going through because “we’re not genies.” I told him you don’t have to be a genie to understand someone might be stressed when their country is literally being bombed and the news about it is everywhere.

During our last argument he also said something like “it’s not my fault, you could have defended yourself or told Mary to stop.” But that’s exactly what I did. When I pointed that out and reminded him that he accused me of “fighting everyone” when I defended myself, he didn’t really have an answer.

Instead he started saying things like I just refuse to accept that my country “sucks” and that I’m putting that frustration on them.

At that point I told him to stop texting me. After that he started acting like I’m the one ignoring him and like I did something wrong.

Eventually I left all the group chats and now I’m seriously considering blocking them.

It hurts because Ryan was one of my closest friends and we have years of memories. But it feels like he constantly sided with Mary, dismissed what I was going through, and treated me like the problem whenever I reacted.

So AITA for wanting to cut them off and being angry about how they treated me?