Surprising combination of health issues, odd but apparently the premium guinea pig for these

Sooooo yes. I struggled (still) my whole teenagehood and 20s with mental illness, my parents have been living their life acting as if it was just an out of control and way too long teenage crisis (I still wish it were only this).

So I started therapy and by the Grace of God I found on my first try the wonderfull therapist I have been ≈ 10years with. I keep telling her that I would litterally never change until she retires, she's quite young (≈40) so I hope I still got time with her.

My parents were absolutely not fine with this, calling it BS and waste of money so I ended up doing everything in my power to find a way of paying her as best as I could.

We then had ro find a psychiatrist, we had our suspictions on a Bipolar type 2 situation but needed real confirmation. Everything went well at first, mild side effects, losing lots of weight but I was really really happy with my body, however I had to add a molecule for my paranoia and when i told my doctor it was weird that I was gaining weight and that it was ine if the most important things for me he washed it off by saying « dont worry, you mental health before your body »..... BITCH YOU RUINED MY LIFE, the only thing i loved about myself.

I gained I was a size 0 ans now can only wear 3 to 5XL. This is brutal. Finally got diagnosed on 2020 after a little/big mistake but I miracusly endend up IN the Urgent care of the hospital residency wher it is one of the main service so I litterally a guinea pig fir them too but they have been the only one running full tests and comfirmed my disgnosis.

anyway, I still struggle with the weight even if I stopped drinking, had the best mediterrany diets. It was so big that I had to unedergo surgery for a sleeve. I was suposed to at least lose 60kg, only 30. Still mad ar it but my actual medication doesnt help +++++* I developoed an PCOS. a classic 3 normal days, walking respecting my diet everything killing me. This week I just went outside shopping a bit ans walk around in the afternoon but it litterally took me the whole day to sleep. 1st waking up at 12:14 then 13 until 4pm then 23pm. I am sightly falling asleep currently write this text.

I have now to shave my beard and started using cyledus rontundus bc the worst (to me) is to developp a beard (i know migt sound ridiculous

The worst in all of this is that I have looked every time but in the inther way: people tend to lose PCOS after the Sleeve surgery while I DEVELOPPED IT AFTERWADS.

I am so tired all I dinx know if Ican continue that way. Double problematics + the others i havent been mentionned.

I am sorry this post is so long and I just needing to vent A LOT because i was finally stable for the 1rst time in my life and this just feel like I really am a failure.

Not deachinf to have intertion or ither, just came to vent.

Thank you for every one who stayed and read this pretty long post.