I think maybe I shifted sometime in my life based on my childhood memories

When I was kid till my teenager years I never wanted to grow up. I know a lot of people who wished they're grown-ups when they're a kid, but i didn't, I always hated the feeling of being an adult. I didn't had any ideia of what jobs or money worked to be honest but I always had that feeling that I'd had to deal with it growing up. I really loved being free and being safe with my family, and never wanted anything more than this. Actually I always thought I'd rather die young than become an adult, and no, I didn't had bad adults during my childhood. Everyone was calm and relaxed next to me at least.

Now I'm 27 and I still had this hate for adulthood and I really wish I was a kid again. Last year I had a weird experience, I was in a bad relationship living far from my family, and everyday all day I was always trying to remember the feeling that I had when I was a kid, the feeling of freedom and safety. And for about a moment, I was laying in my bed after crying and wanted to come home, a had a feeling of being in my childhood bed and I could feel that I was somewhere in 2007 or 2008, I felt the like I was at home but I was too afraid of opening my eyes because something in my head was saying me this was wrong, I wasn't not allowed in the past anymore, and then I tried to remember where I was in my ex city and this feeling was gone.

This is where I found this sub. And now I'm thinking about my pain about job, about still loving my ex and how I never wanted to ever romantically love someone again, and how people expect me to get a job and get married soon because I'm almost 30, and I hate this pressure, and this made me think if in some point I shift to the past and I forgot about everything that happened but my younger self still held this feeling of not wanting to be an adult at all because it was just not worth it. I think in a parallel universe I made the choice of staying in 2007 or 2008 while I was having that experience in my bed last year and somehow it turned out to be my actual universe right now.

I dont know if I expressed myself well. Just think that in a similiar parallel universe I had the choice to shift back while was having a hard time being an adult, and I shift back to my currently universe where but this time I choose to not shift back again.