I need advice on my relationship

I’m 26, my boyfriend is 27M. We have been dating for 3 years. At first, our relationship was so good. He was so sweet, so considerate. Always surprising me with flowers, and little things to make me feel cared for, and sending me money. Originally he had two jobs, his own place, it was good…

Fast forward to now, I don’t know what I’m doing. For reference, we started out living in a different state, we just moved to a new state a year ago and have been living together for over a year now. It has been the ultimate test, and I look at him really different now. He can be extremely lazy and has gone through several jobs… biggest of all he has a temper.

Before we moved, my dad got him a really good job at his company… well long story short… he threatened to beat someone for making fun of him and got fired. Ever since then, he has been struggling to hold a job. And the jobs that he’s had are not great ones. I am the breadwinner, I have a bachelors (I’m a nurse). It isn’t unusual for me to work 4 days out of the week plus call. That means I end up working 40-60+ hour weeks sometimes. No biggie, it’s what I signed up for. It’s the fact that I am mainly the one paying for everything. I pay power, internet, utilities, most groceries, and rent. Sometimes (when he has the money) he contributes. The last few months I have been given 900+ dollars (monthly) for our expenses. Our rent is 2K. My bills alone are $800 dollars, plus living expenses.

It has been hard for him to find a job here, but it’s the fact that he doesn’t even contribute or feel like he tries sometimes. I come home from working 10+ hours, cook, clean, and take care of our pets and honestly him too. I’m so exhausted. I have seen my health decline due to amount of stress, I just look tired and haggard, when I was someone who really used to put effort into my self and my appearance and used to get a lot of attention for my looks. I have put on weight from stress, and just overall have suffered.

I think a big part of the toll is the fact that he can be incredibly mean. I feel like have slowly lost sight of myself. My bf when he gets mad “sees red” and “blacks out in rage”. He doesn’t hit me, but he will scream, he will call me names, he’s honestly scary. He hasn’t hit me, but he has shoved me or throw me onto the bed. He tells me to go away or go lock myself in the bed room or says he doesn’t wanna see my face. He will say “I wouldn’t have to yell at you” or “I wouldn’t have to be evil if you would just f#cking listen.”

I’ve included his mom in on this info, and honestly I love her and she is such a kind woman but she went through this with her husband (his dad). The only difference is that his dad went to church and started to change his ways, but that didn’t happen until way down the line.

We are in couples therapy now…. Because my sister was living with me and he called her names and basically kicked her out in a moment of rage. Now my parents are aware of the situation. My sister is now keeping her distance. Idk what to do.

Originally, before all of this, the plan was to move back to the state we originally moved from. He has a great job offer there working under his uncle. I can get a job anywhere, but now I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Our lease ends in two months and we are supposed to start packing up. He says he is willing to work on it. We have done 4 sessions with the therapist. He was doing good at cooking and cleaning. He said he doesn’t wanna be this person. It is so hard for me because this is such a horrible side to him. He is not always like this, but when he is I can’t help but to dwell on it. I think about it for days and days. It eats away at me. I dont wanna stay but I dont wanna leave.

I dont know that i can hold out for him to “maybe” get better the way his dad did… I mean when we met, i felt like this relationship was IT. I just don’t know what to do. I am afraid to be single, I have heard horror stories about the dating scene, I’m afraid of making a mistake. I guess I’m mostly afraid of not making the right decision, I don’t wanna be stuck with this version of him forever, but I also don’t want to make the wrong move.