Finally stopped waiting for people to notice me and just introduced myself first

Spent years sitting in the corner of every social situation waiting for someone to come talk to me. Then going home and wondering why I have no friends. Real mystery there.

It's not like I didn't want to talk to people. I just convinced myself that if they wanted to talk to me they would. And if they didn't come over, that was my answer. Rejection without even being rejected. Safe, clean, no risk involved. Also completely lonely.

Last month I started just saying hi to people. Not some big confident thing, just "hey I'm [name]" with probably the most awkward smile imaginable. Some people were polite and moved on. Some actually talked back.

Something shifted when I stopped treating my loneliness like something happening to me and started seeing it as something I was accidentally maintaining. The waiting, the assuming nobody's interested, the protecting myself from rejection by never giving anyone the chance. It felt like self preservation but it was just isolation with a better excuse.

Still terrifying every single time. But at least now when I go home alone I know it's not because I didn't try.