Finding out you might be in an incompatible relationship is so hard

After over 5 years with my SO, through a crazy amount of challenges where we supported each other, some dishonesty, and lots of growth together, and ultimately lots of love

She has decided she wants kids, and ultimately doesn't want to make some self improvements (quit smoking weed, etc), and I want the opposite. I respect the mutual honesty, but it's so hard. You think you're on one path with mutual goals, and someone else is on another. We all know this is how it works, but when you really hear it, it hits hard. There's no fixing, there's no blame, just rough. We are spending the next couple of months self reflecting to be sure we want what we want, but it ain't looking good. Thank you for listening