Being a small, weak man is a fucking nightmare

I wish, i truly wish i was born to be the big, manly, testosterone radiating average man but nature gave me the body of a mosquito with the mental strength of a cockroach.

I feel it wherver i go. People can overpower me instantly. Especially other men. 13 year olds get stronger than me naturally. When im outside im constantly threatened by the thought that whoever decides to harm me or my loved ones physically i wouldnt be able to do anything about it because im weaker and lighter than a grocery bag.

Me and my friends always humouristically push each other suddenly in a friendly way and even then i feel it. Jokes have been made about me being a twink, and sometimes some of them lift me up like its funny. I know if any of those men decide to overpower me theyre capable of beating my shit.

Not only that, but im fucking scared. My legs tremble and my heart pounds when someone bigger than me threatens me.

I used to exercise regularly and even that didnt give me what i sought. Is there any creature on this planet less fortunate than a small, incapable man? I keep asking myself and the more time i spend living the less the answer seems like yes.

I know i should count my blessings. I know there is more to life than that. But i dont feel like shutting up and sulking about what matters to me. Im allowed to feel upset. Here, off my chest.