I wish I could show my stepmom my love and how much she means to me (ADVICE PLEASE)

Hi, I am a man in his 20s, technically this story is not about an actual stepmom, but rather my ex-stepmom. She is very much a mom to me and definitely helped raise me into the person I need to be.

For context: I do not have a very strong relationship with my mom. She was never much of a "mom" and she didn't ever connect to me on a "mother-son" level, whatever that would even look like. This has caused a serious impact on me on so many levels, many of which are emotional, dating, and overall mental health issues that still need to be treated. I have never had an actual mom teach me a lot of the skills I have, as well as I have neurodivergence and my dad is definitely not innocent in the context of the problems I have (but to a lesser degree i suppose). I definitely have mommy issues, and I have felt rejected for most of my life by many people (kids at school, both of my parents just to name a few)

I have fucked up a lot, but I am facing many internal problems at once. My ex-stepmom is the only person I want to trust on earth with these, but unfortunately, she has her own shit to worry about, such as her kid (my half-sibling) and another kid of her own. I love her to death, and I care so much about her and see her as a very important person in my life. I don't think she even realizes how much I love and care about her and how I hope we can have a very strong relationship in the future. I want her to feel my love radiate and I want us to get even closer. I just worry and get devastated at the possibility that may never happen. We have been away for a bit, I have had many of my own problems and am not living with my dad right now, she has a kid and her own career to focus on as well as the life she has going on.

I just wish I had some way of letting my love radiate, showing my appreciation, showing her how much she means to me, and some way of getting our relationship back and making it stronger.

Any advice is warranted please 🥹