AITA for being angry about my bf going some girls house?

I 23F my boyfriend is 22M a theater student. I recently came out of town to stay with my family. We’ve had some arguments lately because an old male friend of mine called me. I don’t even talk to him anymore (he’s just someone I used to know. He only called to ask if I knew the girl he likes. Before hanging up he told me to say hi to my boyfriend, and that was it.

Because of that, my boyfriend didn’t talk to me for two days. Of course that wasn’t the only reason (he also said that I was “restricting” him. But honestly I’m probably one of the most easygoing girlfriends you could imagine. I had just lost my job recently, so I had a lot of free time and I wanted to see him more often.

Anyway, today he called me and told me that a girl from his school canceled the rehearsal they were supposed to do together. When I asked where they were planning to rehearse, he said at her house. In the evening. They were supposed to go to her place and do a script reading together, but she canceled and instead asked him if he would want to come to her house next weekend instead of working at school.

For context, the girl lives two hours away and my boyfriend lives right next to the school. So I said it would make more sense for them to rehearse at school since it’s more convenient. But he said “stop being jealous, girls can be my friends and I can go to their houses. That’s normal.”

Since I actually know the girl a little from before and I know she used drugs in the past and hasn’t always been in the best place mentally, I said “honestly she might not be the best person to get close to ” Suddenly my boyfriend got defensive and said “don’t talk about her like that, you don’t even know her… I mean I’m not trying to defend her or anything but…”

I told him that I actually knew her before he did, but I didn’t continue the conversation because I’m honestly scared that the smallest thing will turn into him yelling and starting a fight.

The thing is, if I told him I was going to a male friend’s house, I have no idea what kind of reaction that would cause.

I just want to communicate and explain how I feel. But whenever I try to have that conversation, it turns into a fight and he stops talking to me for days. Right now I’m acting a little cold because I feel really stupid. I know I will eventually talk to him about it, but I don’t know what to say. I want to express my feelings clearly without sounding accusatory, but I don’t know how to do that. am i overreacting?

OH AND I FORGOT TO MENTION During our last argument, he had already stopped talking to me for two days because he said I was “restricting” him. I got scared and tried to be understanding, so while we were at his family’s house I told him, “If you want to spend time with your friend, I understand. I can just go home, it’s not a big deal.”

But because of that, he didn’t talk to me for another three days. He said I had been disrespectful in front of his family. Apparently his father also told him that I was being disrespectful to my boyfriend. Even though I had already helped clean their house, his dad also complained that “she couldn’t even wash the dishes properly.”

When I heard that it really hurt me. And I told him that as his girlfriend, it’s not my responsibility to always wash his family’s dishes.

SO IM JUST SCARED TO TALK WITH HIM WITHOUT A FIGHT. BUT I WANNA KNOW AM I THE ASSHOLE? AM I OVERREACTING?