Dear Nick,

From the last time I wrote you a letter until now, there has been a shift in me. My grief over what was and what could have been still comes in waves, but God has amazingly transformed the way I look at things. I am beyond grateful!

I have just finished an audiobook titled “Good Boundaries and Goodbyes” today. The story and the lessons from the book truly resonate with me. After stopping all contact with you, I kept searching for something from God that would help me cope with the pain and the heartache. The Libby app from my library, which I had left dusty for so long, suddenly became useful. I searched using the keyword “love,” and this is what I found. Now I know why, even though I loved you deeply through all the rollercoaster trials - as you were like a rescuer in our story - I still do not want to stay. I cannot bear the thought of breaking apart a family or breaking someone’s heart. I am finally at peace.

A while ago, a coworker gave me two little cuttings from her spider plant. I left them in a glass bowl with water for so long. And today I finally felt it was the right moment to transplant them into potting mix. The smell of dirt and water, and the vision of the plant growing, is heavenly. I can already visualize these two little cuttings growing into a fully thriving, blooming plant.

I feel so joyful in my heart. God is good! The story in the book that I listened to - part of it was about saying goodbye because of the author’s spouse’s continued infidelity. I will be praying for you all, that you can turn away from the desire for something outside of your marriage and focus on your family. Our life is so short, yet so long, and the best thing we can offer our true lifetime partner - and ourselves - is our loyalty and faithfulness. Not all of us will get to experience that, but if I ever find my person - the one I will love and be loved by fully and completely - I will treasure him and the love we share and guard it with all my heart.

Though our paths may never cross again, I hope you find clarity, strength, and peace in your life, and that your heart is guided toward what truly matters.

With love,

From a John Denver song