I feel like I'm not viable in the dating market and might not ever be.

I lowkey just feel ready to give up on dating.

I'm 24. I've been on about 35 first dates in the past year and change. Only about 9 of them have led to a second, 3 of them (maybe 4) have led to a third, and one led to a relationship that she ended after three months because "she wasn't ready" yet I saw her back on the app a month later.

It's just frustrating. On one hand, I can understand why I'm not exactly the most viable partner now. I'm autistic and can be socially awkward if not comfortable around someone right away. So I don't know how to elevate things and make it flirty. Obviously when you are dating, point A is "I think you're attractive and want to learn more about you" and point B is "Let's have sex." I just don't know how to get there logically.

Most women I talk to also make more than me. I have a college degree but due to companies just seemingly not giving chances to men (which sounds like alt-right red-pill shit but literally look at the numbers), it makes it harder to me to get my foot in the door, and most people don't want to date down. Which they're entitled to that, but it's still defeating when I feel like I do everything right in my control and get rejected for things outside of my control.

I'm not a bum though. I'm working a lot in service industry, I only drink in moderation, I'm pretty frugal with my money but still try to do fun dates like mini golf, sports games, etc, I try to save what I can... it's just a temporary struggle. But I feel like the instant gratification nature of Gen Z, the decline in social ability exasperated by COVID, and the very nature of the apps themselves makes people think that somehow the next person can be better, even if they like the person they're currently seeing. In fact, I look at a lot of these women I go on dates with and wonder... "How are they single?" It feels weird.

It seems that the majority of women, from my experience, chase the top 20% or so of men and ignore the rest. Part of me feels like unless I can get there, it's not worth it for me. I want to put in the work to get to know someone and communicate with them and see if they make my life better. I'm working very hard to get my own life in a better place. I just hate how the dialogue seems to be "You have to have your own life figured out before you can date." Like what is the definition of "figured out"? People should always be trying to improve their lives. Most of our parents didn't have their lives figured out when they started dating. It was to be expected that you grow with a person. But now people seem to want someone that's already grown, that's already close to perfect, and it just doesn't make sense to me.

Women also seem to desire someone that's a prize, tying into what I said earlier. I actually got hit on MORE when I was dating that girl I mentioned earlier. So if I hold out until I'm 27 or 28, have my life figured out, but still kind of new to dating, I'm worried that's going to be a red flag in and of itself. So now I feel fucked. It's either improve my material conditions and make myself more desirable on paper but still likely not be able to attract something long-term due to not having experience, or keep trying now and keep getting rejected because people don't want to grow with me and want to wait until my aforementioned conditions are better.

I don't really have the luxury of moving in with my parents and being able to commit more to saving. I just wish my whole life didn't feel so bleak at 24, but alas, it does.