Germany

I gave birth to Germany. Yes, that's right. Germany is the land of blond women. There's a lot of blond women there, but let me tell you a story about a Mongolian man and how he gave birth to the Germany as we know today by having sex until his dick fell off. I watched from above as my legion of scarred, grey-skinned thralls carried the bone-wrought throne upon which I sat, their knees buckling under the weight of my sexual addiction. Yes, that's right. I was having sex with 30 blond women on my throne as we reached the Caspian Sea. The air was thick with the scent of salt, sweat and cum. As two of the women I had sex with a minute earlier gave birth, I looked towards a group of Polish men squatting on the shoreline, their heels planted firmly in the mud and drinking vodka. I asked one of them "Where is the land where the national anthem is just the sound of a stamp hitting a piece of paper?" The Polish man didn't break his gravity-defying squat and gestured with a greasy thumb toward the western horizon, his gaze never leaving the shimmering water. "There's a forest full of blond women not too far away from here!" he grunted, the words thick with a Slavic accent. "Follow the smell of fresh ink and burnt bratwurst. But you're early. The soil there is still just mud and unwritten laws. It needs the weight of a heavy hand or giant balls. "Just know this: a land built on stamps has no room for the wild blood of the steppe. You give them life now, but one day, they will invent a tax for the very air you breathe during your festivities." I felt the bone-wrought throne tilt as my thralls adjusted their grip, their grey skin slick with the salt spray. The two newborns, infants with hair as pale as winter wheat, wailed in the arms of their mothers. The air grew colder as my thralls kept marching onward. Above them, the air was a freezing swirl of pine needles and the steam rising from the dozen new blond women I had swept into my carnal wake. The further west we pushed, the more the world began to transform. The chaotic, rolling hills of the East smoothed out into graded slopes. The wild undergrowth thinned, replaced by moss that felt suspiciously like a well-groomed carpet. "Faster!" I roared, though my voice was becoming a raspy whisper of its former self. My penis hurt like hell and my throat was sore from all the squirts I've been swallowing. "My Lord," one of the grey-skinned thralls wheezed, his spine popping like a dry branch, "the ground... it is turning into cobblestone beneath our feet!" He was right. The mud of the East was hardening into a grid. The blond women atop the throne with me were no longer just participants. In fact, they were becoming a committee. One of the women reached up, not to cum in my mouth, but to adjust my cum-laced hair. "Listen, we have a problem," she said, her voice as flat and grey as a rainy Tuesday in Brussels. "These gray-skinned thralls are, strictly speaking, unregistered migrant workers. They have no social security numbers, their posture is a blatant violation of the Manual Handling Directive, and frankly, their skin tone doesn't meet the aesthetic transparency standards of the Union." She poked a cum-soaked clump of my hair with the end of a ballpoint pen. "This massive orgy you're having is a logistical mess. You're producing blond offsprings at a rate that completely bypasses our regional quota system. We have no records of their blood types, no dental history, and you haven't even paid the mandatory EU registration fee. I tried to let out a defiant demonic grunt, but she just pulled a thick, laminated pamphlet from her blazer. "Don't be difficult. We've reviewed your sexual addiction and reclassified it as an unauthorized industrial process. It's a clear breach of the Competition Directive. You're essentially dumping cheap labor into the market without a permit. We're going to have to freeze your assets starting with your giant balls until we can conduct a full audit of your output." The thralls dropped their shoulders, looking less like a legion and more like a group of interns waiting for a bus. I could only watch my flaccid penis spurt its last tiny amount of cum as Germany turned me into a cuck as soon it emerged from nothing.