I feel like I'm not optimistic enough to be a 7

When I read the description of sp 7 I felt completely exposed lol. Here are some quotes I found particularly relatable:

"Beyond the tendency of all E7 to procrastinate, the conservation E7 often demonstrates tenacity in overcoming obstacles and standing up to adversity based on nerve, will, and fury. An irrational idea underlies: “I can handle everything.”"

"​​The conservation E7 usually has a great sense of humor; have fun and laugh. He laughs happily about almost everything; when it comes to laughter, nothing is sacred… He also knows how to laugh at himself, thus distancing himself from his true emotions… But above all, he is not afraid of others, which prevents him from taking them seriously."

"He feels distrust in the flow of life. He questions everything and has a certain degree of anger with life, little manifested… Similar to the E1, in the feeling that others are not trustworthy, that people are imperfect, but without taking the trouble to try to correct others, conservation E7 isolates itself from the world in its particular garden…"

I felt for a long time that I'm not optimistic, idealistic, or uncomfortable enough with darkness to be a 7 (not to mention I think I'm also a 748).

I embrace dark emotions. I've thought deeply about topics of ending it all, insanity, grief, trauma, etc. I am definitely not a wide-eyed idealist. I've been through a lot - childhood trauma, grief, homelessness, mental illness, you name it. I also thought for a long time that I'm a 5 because I often isolate myself from the world - in times of stress I cut people off (at one point I had no friends or family at all), and I'm obsessed with being self-reliant. I don't trust people, or the world. I truly believe the world owes me nothing. If I am to live a happy life, I have to get it myself.

So I thought for a long time that I wasn't a 7.

But, to me, being a 7 means needing to have hope no matter what. Needing to see life's beauty at all times. Because if you lose hope, then your life is in serious danger.

Laughing when your life is falling apart before your eyes because you can't bear to feel the weight of your emotions. Pushing them so far down you can't even feel them, so you're a teen girl laughing and dancing at the homeless shelter and then ending up in the psych ward a week later because your repressed emotions resurfaced. The fear.

It means feeling like you can never show your sadness or vulnerability. Being the funny girl who doesn't take anything seriously. No matter what. That you can never rely on others, and you have a choice: making something of your life, or ending it.

I guess it's pretty odd for a 7. But I do feel like I am one.

Does this check out???