(31M) Found messages suggesting my girlfriend (24F) was exchanging sexual content and possibly meeting someone for money while we were together. I ended the relationship abruptly and now I’m unsure how to move forward.

I 31M had been dating my girlfriend 24F for about 5–6 months. I cared about her a lot and was treating the relationship seriously. We had taken trips together and were even planning an international trip together in about five weeks.

Yesterday something unexpected happened that ended the relationship very abruptly.

My mom was visiting and my girlfriend was saving my mom’s number in her phone. There was a mix-up with the contact and she handed me her phone and asked me to fix it while she went to the bathroom.

While I had the phone open in messages trying to fix the contact, I noticed a thread with another guy. I didn’t go digging through her entire phone, but what I saw in the thread immediately shocked me.

From the messages I saw:

• She had been Snapchatting this guy nude photos/videos for money

• The messages referenced him paying while she sent sexual content until he finished

• There were discussions about meeting up at a hotel for “an hour or until he finishes”

• There were Apple Pay transfers totaling roughly $10,000 over a couple years

• Some older messages involved negotiating prices for photos/videos

Some of these messages were from before we were together, but there were also payments and communication happening while we were actively dating.

What made it worse for me was the timing of some of it. I saw messages happening late at night during a trip we took together to NYC, also she got an Apple Pay payment the night before we left to Hawaii for her birthday which made me feel like this was going on behind my back even while we were together. The last payment was as little as 3 weeks ago.

When she came back from the bathroom, I didn’t confront her or start an argument. I simply took her home, dropped her off with her belongings, and told her something along the lines of “looks like you have a great business going for you, I wish you the best of luck.”

Since then she has emailed me claiming she has no idea what I’m talking about, saying she has always been loyal and that she doesn’t have any kind of “business.” Instead she’s focused on criticizing how I ended things and saying it was unfair that I didn’t explain what I saw.

From my perspective, once I saw those messages and payments, the trust was gone immediately and I didn’t see a point in arguing about it.

However, now that some time has passed I’m conflicted about how to handle things going forward. Part of me feels like I should maintain no contact and move on. Another part of me wonders if I should respond to her and explain exactly what I saw so she understands why I ended things so abruptly.

For people who have dealt with similar situations, is it better to just leave things where they are and move on, or is there value in responding and explaining the reason for the breakup?