my body betrayed me in many ways and I feel terrible, what should i do?

long story short: I was often left alone with my parents' best friend and they trust him very much. For the record he is a Caucasian male with with a wife and kid but he often hangs out with us. The first time this all happened there was no intercourse but he found me in my shower when my parents were out and wanted me for oral sex. Sometimes he took take me to the men's changing room after my swimming lesson.

It was not until later when he started to blackmail me into full-on sexual intercourse. He often came/climaxed inside of me and made me feel like garbage and a used "thing" and he did this countless times without protection at all because i diodnt have my period until very late and no risk of anyone finding out. this is the first way my body betrayed me.

the second way is that after a few times, I even started to get moist "down there", and he would mock me saying i want this and I even came myself after a few times. as I couldnt get pregnant he would do this over and over until he was spent and even made me do it too. He said I liked it but I didnt, but a part of me also felt good. this made me feel extremely guilty ridden and thought maybe I did like it.

I could never get the feeling of his dirty hands on my body or the way he used to call me names and degrade me. Yet there is once when I saw him and craved and feared it at the same time. Should I have told my parents? Was it my fault that I kept this going? Part of me finds this disgusting but part of me felt that I couldnt live without him