People think i’m gaslighting my fiancé after I came out as trans.

(sorry if i have poor grammar right now, im very tired and very stressed so my brain is a little fuzzy atm. )

For context, i came out as trans to my mother last night and it went really well. she’s a very non emotional and aggressive person, and even then, she was very empathetic and supportive of me. whilst also being confused and curious as expected. But it went so well I ended up telling my fiancés family as well since 1, they’re very pro trans, pro lgbt, pro choice, pro equality, all of it. their daughter is gay, their cousin is trans, and just all of it.

prior to me even getting into a relationship with my fiancé 5 years ago, i did come out as trans to him. and 2 years before that, i publicly came out as trans to friends and my school, but not my parents. When my fiancé (friend at the time) asked me out, i basically told him that I was trans. And if he’s going to be with me, he’ll need to know that will be our future. he didn’t care, and he said he’s pansexual- he just likes me for me.

fast forward back to now, we decided to tell his parents and you’d think it’d go well- well it didn’t. They basically said that it’s all just drama drama. They told my fiancé that he doesn’t know what he wants and that they don’t see him being with a man. when he told them that he wasn’t straight he even said “i told you guys years ago i wasn’t straight. “ and they still don’t think it’s true. they said “i find that very hard to believe” and “i fear you’re just not making these thoughts yourself”. which is actually crazy to me on why they would say such a thing. He’s very smart, he’s capable of thinking for himself. i don’t have earbuds in his ears forcing thoughts and words down his throat.

his mom is happy for me that im finally out, but she’s not happy for him. Maybe they think he’s lying and i never told him i was trans? maybe they think this came out of nowhere even though ive been seeing therapists abt this for 8 years? idk. i told them all of my medical/therapist history to, but they just don’t believe it.

How can i possibly convince his family that im not gaslighting him into being gay??? i’m not forcing him into being gay??? even before we got engaged, we had many many long talks about my future and transitioning, and everytime he’s always told me he’d love me the same.

How can i possibly convince his family that i don’t in fact force thoughts into his head and that he’s fully capable of thinking for himself? he’s very smart. i just don’t know how to deal with this anymore.