i can't feel anything

title says basically it. 15F, i really can't feel anything.

a few days ago, i tried crying, but no tears came out. i didn't even feel sad.

me and my friend got into an argument, and i thought this would give me a reason to relapse, but i realized that i really don't care. i've been waiting and waiting for something to come and give me a reason to relapse again, just to feel relief, but i can't feel any sense of emotion---or any emotion atp. i really just feel emptiness and i can't bring myself to care about anything anymore, why do i feel this way? someone help me understand myself please