I have a self destructive relationship with other people

People don’t like me ,I know that they make it obvious but don’t say anything directly. This causes me to be closed off and defensive and abrasive which causes them to like me less reinforcing the previous behavior. I feel like shit 80 percent of the conversations I have with people excluding a few very close friends are negative ones I try to be better but I forget one small thing because of my adhd like swapping the cloths in the dryer or forgetting to wash a dish they get mad at me I try to defend myself and the cycle starts again.