Idk if this is the right flair for this type of question. Let me know and I'll change it! I just had a question about one of the cut scenes

So, I love Saeran, but I told myself I would never touch his route again, despite getting a bad ending because of this specific scene, but when I went looking for it in the game's history, I didn't have it. I just wanted to see if I could handle it now that I am older and have a different outlook on myself. Anyway's I'll explain the scene now.

!I remember the background was the garden (Or, if I am wrong, outside at least), and at first it's perfectly fine, until Saeran/Ray starts spiraling about his self-hatred. I don't remember exactly what he said, though, cause admittedly I was crying halfway through it.!<