22F treated me, 25M like garbage.

I was in a long-distance relationship (cousin’s sis in law), I had an on-off relationship with her(3 years younger then me)over roughly 5 years every 2 months or so she used to cut off (block me)like for 1-2 months then used to come back, I used to love her a lot. Hence, I let her come. I'm pretty sure she did this at least 14 times, yes, 14 times over the course of 5 years. If I was so bad or unreasonable, etc., why would she come ? I know I was not perfect, I had many issues but still, why stretch, then in between “off” she went out with 2-3 guys in the span of 2 months. When she came she didn't tell me that she went with some guys, after some time she confessed, i broke up because I thought it was cheating.She denied saying we were “off”.

Then after 2 years we met at a family function then started taking incessantly, i again fell and told her my feelings she was like ok we r friends but i am still sure she had feelings,like after 2.5 months she cut off again like barely texting barely calling, i got fed up and stopped texting her then after some weeks she called multiple times I didn’t pick up then i called 3 days later she instantly blocked me without listening to me, so i stopped messaging her. Then after 3 months, he messaged me saying it was my fault.

I only had 1 face to face relationship when I was 15-16. I have zero self confidence i used to fear every few months that she gonna leave. I know I am short 166 cm, 60kg, when i asked for tips she even said that your height is number 1 turn off

How to improve myself, I have no friends, that's why sharing here. I live in India, if that's a matter.