I feel uncomfortable with what my ex and his new one are doing

Problem/Goal: I feel uncomfortable with my ex and his new girl’s antics

Context:

I just need to rant and maybe get advice because I feel like I’m going crazy overthinking this situation.

The guy was my first in almost everything. ‘Yung tipong first kahit sa mga bagay that I personally find sacred, like introducing him to my family and relatives and entrusting myself completely because I grew comfortable with him. My experience with him felt very genuine because I was simply young and in love.

We’ve been broken up for a year and 2 months now and it wasn’t a mutual break-up. He initiated it multiple times, almost as if matagal na niyang gustong gawin. If hindi pa magmamakaawa ‘yung mom ko na iwanan ko na siya after everything that happened — the pain, the doubts, the overthinking, and the lack of effort — I probably wouldn’t have agreed to it. I kind of just forced myself to accept it kahit sobrang sakit, and maybe that’s why it took me a while to find closure.

Mas humirap lang when the friends I cut off because they became close with him after our first break-up actually stayed friends with him. The same people he used to hate and the same people who used to tell me to leave him before. I remember them talking badly about him before, so seeing them now say things like “mabait naman siya” while being very close with him feels confusing to me.

He ended up courting someone who used to be my friend as well. The same person who saw us before, during, and after the relationship. Siya rin ‘yung taong nagco-comfort sa’kin when I was crying about the break-up before. So I guess seeing them together now just makes me feel uncomfortable in a way I can’t fully explain. Lalo na when other people ask me what I think about them because they know the history between us.

Another thing that honestly bothered me was that he apparently blamed ‘yung malayong pinsan niya for me finding out about them. The cousin he was referring to is actually someone I’ve been close friends with for years. From what I heard, he even told his cousin something along the lines of, “Hindi mo ba naiisip kung anong mararamdaman ni *** (me) tuwing kinukwento mo kami sa kaniya or sinasabi mo ‘yung tungkol sa amin?”

I already knew long before anyone “told” me anything. I started noticing things during the summer after we broke up. I saw posts and pictures from mutuals that made it pretty obvious they were spending time together. It wasn’t anything explicitly confirmed at the time, but it was very telling.

So hearing that he brought me up like that felt unnecessary to me. I never confronted them or asked anyone for details because I assumed that if they were eventually going to make things public anyway, then there was no point in making it a bigger issue. That’s why it confused me that my name was even brought into that conversation in the first place.

I try not to assume things, but there are moments that make the situation feel awkward for me. For example, she often views my stories or posts, but when we cross paths in school she seems very avoidant and tense around me. Some people around me have pointed it out too. I genuinely try to stay neutral and mind my own business, so it sometimes makes me wonder if I’m doing something wrong or if I’m just overthinking everything.

May mga moments din where it feels like their relationship gets shoved to my face in situations where we’re all present. Like during a research competition where me and the guy were in the same category (different groups). They suddenly started being together more often in the spaces where we were doing research stuff. He would also bring her up a lot while we were busy revising papers. Later on, I noticed na si girl naman ‘yung lapit nang lapit sa kaniya to ask him to go somewhere with her or spend time together.

It threw me off din when he befriended my little sister on Facebook while he was already courting the new girl. Given everything that happened before, it just felt weird to me so I asked my sister to block him to avoid any possible awkwardness.

At this point I don’t want anything to do with their relationship. I’m not trying to interfere or start drama. I just genuinely feel uncomfortable being around the situation sometimes, especially since we’re still in the same school environment.

Honestly I just want this school year to end already because I feel like distance would make it easier for me to finally move on and stop thinking about all of this.

I guess I just want to ask: am I overthinking things, or is it normal to feel this uncomfortable seeing your ex and someone you used to know together all the time? How do you deal with this? 😞

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